The art of Being everything and nothing you want to be

"The art of Being everything and nothing you want to be"

It's not zen I'm going to write about here; I'll just try to understand how people find ways to succeed.

When we are thrust into difficult situations and do/die moments, we tend to perform our best in something we're very familiar with.

What's it I'm saying? You all would have heard about a quirky statement on us folks, being the fastest ever when a dog is chasing us behind? Yes, precisely that. 

Have you ever wondered why? Biologically and scientifically, there are a good number of reasons, but what about psychologically?

We are in the worst or non-favourable conditions, and we lack resources, time, support etc., but it works out and for the best. How come?

How come when we're calm, collected, and at the best of our favourable conditions, we don't give our best?

Because we think and overthink when we have time. We don't trust our instincts, habits, and the amount of work that has gone into it; we instead go on to imagine and devise our perfect performance. We analyse the possible outcomes and try to predict them. We even start savouring possible victories (or failures, if you're a pessimist like me) way early.

That doesn't mean we don't need planning or thinking. We absolutely do. We prepare ourselves, hone our skills, make strategies, but we only know how to deal with a situation when it presents itself to us, much like any sport. 

There's something else also at play that could explain this.

In crunch situations, we don't change anything about ourselves. Sorry, we CAN'T.  We are just like the substance in laboratory conditions with no external factors, that we react, only according to our nature. We have the right proportion of elements and chemicals in the states we need and nothing extra affecting us. 

We're just everything we are and nothing we ever were. 

That's why we perform to our abilities. Doesn't mean we succeed at that; no, our capabilities may be short of what's needed to win.

We may be at our fastest, but that may not be fast enough to escape the chasing dog. 

Now, the question begs, right? What do we need to do to be where we want to be? 

It' not rocket science, but it ain't simple either, I believe. Not many people have genuinely achieved everything. Even though the leaders and greats have repeatedly succeeded in what they set ought to, did they ever meet their own expectations? We may never know, but if they did at any point in their life, they wouldn't have been that successful. 

Imagine if Newton had stopped with his findings in  Mathematics or Elon musk was satisfied with Tesla's progress alone.

These successful people rose to the challenges in crunch situations despite knowing they'd fail on numerous occasions.  They had high hopes for themselves or their beliefs, which was not realistic then, but they worked hard and did the right things to achieve it. Once they did that, they looked for another challenge, set another high standard to chase. 

It is also important to discard the things we don't need or limit those activities to the minimum.

Let's say that I now want to start a business. I cannot afford to be risk-averse or rigid in my functioning. I'll have to consider various factors, take quick decisions and put together many people who'll work and be committed to my set-up. These are the core strategies I have to follow and discard the unnecessary, irrespective of what characteristics I possess.

 

So, in a nutshell, keep updating your skills, find new goals, and eliminate distractions and bad habits.

 Do these ensure success? Well, I'm just a nobody trying to explain how anybody can do it, but not how each one can do it. That, only you have to find for yourself.

Since success is not the same for everyone. For Elon Musk, it's a successful mission to Mars, but it would be just earning enough to get 3 meals a day for some people. That doesn't mean only some should aim for some things and others shouldn't. Anyone can dream of anything. But what you dream of, should matter; not what others do or expect from you.

Not just me, but also so many successful people, motivational speakers and leaders who have tried to answer "how to succeed" from their experiences or perspectives have failed. Because there's no one recipe for achieving this. 

The recipe to that success, with just two ingredients, "being everything and nothing you want to be," is unique to each one of us and if you can find that recipe, who knows?

You might just keep outrunning the dog enough to reach the end line.

The Pandemic

Every hour, the crisis is looming closer to us, much like the CW’s crisis on infinite earths that approached the DC multi-verse. They had a string of aliens, two lightning speedsters and over-dressed vigilantes to take upon the superhero act and save everyone.

(For the normal and non-geek folks, CW is a TV channel, DC is a superhero comics industry and I have mentioned about a particular TV show in the channel, where as usual the universe is being destroyed)

Who do we have? An orangutan who makes racial remarks and scowls at the press for asking questions and an overt showman who believes making thali sounds by the public as a crowd is far more important to the doctors, health care workers and sanitation workers than giving them medical supplies? 

So, that begs the question, who’ll be our saviors? The WHO? The NGO’s? The government? The rich capitalists who’s funding money as an act of mercy to hospitals and charities? Who’ll do it? Who’ll take upon the responsibility , the effort for us so that we all can sit back, relax and clap our hands to the one who did it all?

Ironically, the first thing we need to do is what I mentioned above, sit back, relax and take a breather in our homes with our families.

The outbreak

After the Chinese had known the enormity of the situation by the start of the year, the epidemic had already consumed many lives in the Wuhan and neighbouring provinces. The Chinese, known for their efficient health care and medical facilities struggled to find beds to put people in as the novel infection spread like a wildfire.

Now, how did this epidemic turn into a global pandemic is a separate study for later, which might have been really simple or very complex and methodic as the conspirators say. The Whats app university gold medalists are in full form arguing and sharing nuggets about “Hug the Chinese campaign” in Italy, the bio-weapon gone wrong by the Chinese government and the potential Hanta virus that can end the world, giving script writers and directors a treat for a future box office feature.

While all this is happening, the world has already seen close to 18000 deaths and the people at the forefront of this, the doctors and public servants are risking their lives everyday, to keep us all safe.

Is social distancing the way forward?

The social distancing essentially means, isolating yourself. So if large no of people have to isolate themselves then you cancel large gatherings, close academic centers, offices and lockdown a city or place.

In other words, you basically shutdown your society, that has existed since dawn. Businesses flounders, economy crashes and everything except you and your life comes to a halt.

Giorgio Agamben a famous philosopher from Italy calls these measures, “frantic, irrational and absolutely unwarranted”. He says that the measures taken , sends people into a wave of panic and paralyzes them into a society that believes in anything but a bare life.

As his critics quote, he’s wrong in many levels not understanding the pandemic or its seriousness. They are right, you have to distance yourself from others. But in what way?

Social solidarity with a physical distance.

Agamben though was correct in one aspect: we are reduced to our bare lives. We, “the social beings” essentially just eat, sleep and stay in a shelter for a period. 

Lot of experts say you have to practice ”social solidarity with physical distance”. It means you depend on others - individuals, groups, communities while maintaining a physical distance. 

Simple- Promote public health system not just personal safety, help the elderly, children and the vulnerable, create measures that can help the doctors and other workers.

Limit your regular check-ups to the hospitals unless urgent, thus essentially creating space for the needy.

Do not go out unless you have to get essential supplies.

If you find any of the persons in your community or family suffering with any of the symptoms, ask them or if needed, push them to get it checked with a doctor or a health care worker. Don’t just abandon anyone for your personal safety.

If you have a travel history, please quarantine yourself rigidly even if you don’t have the symptoms. Covid-19 could have been transmitted and you might take any day in two weeks to start showing symptoms.

Wash your hands and maintain your hygiene regularly

Don’t spread unauthenticated messages in your social platforms. Some might find the funnier or the truer side of it, but some might not. This is not the “ the best national anthem in the world is India’s national anthem , declared by UNESCO” kind of situation. This is a matter of life and death.

We can create our own relief space in the web among our friends, family and colleagues and discuss art, movies and chat while also give someone a moral support and strength if they are in proximity to any difficulty.

We can self- introspect in the time we have, find our hidden passion and hobbies and refresh ourselves.

Last but not least, even if I had mentioned some indifferent comments about our leaders or governments , it is time that we (myself included) follow what they say and try emulating their requests. We all have to put our differences apart from each other, men or women, young or old, right wing or left and work together with all the forces from government, leaders ,the police to the the medical industry (also the medical students around the world, who’s being thrown into the deep end straight away but are bold and spirited enough to serve and help) and the public servants. 

Its might be late to emerge victorious but we can come out safe by paying the least price possible.

Now, as Clark Kent (the Superman) says, “ A superhero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles”

For once, we, the PEOPLE can be our own superheroes.

IN THE EYES OF AN

The evening was dawning, with moon lit brightly and stars twinkling under its shade.

I was rushing into the fields with my friends behind me as we were trying to get the moonlit spot under the tree. We all settled under the tree with takeout food, big backpacks full of books and comics. It was our first year in the university and we were all bummed about the exams next week,
We had our thick books under the lamps and our hands busy taking notes.

After some intense studying and discussion for some hours, we took a break.

As our mouths were getting filled with burgers, She told, " I'm so glad to be here, I've always thought I would end up being an uneducated wife of a thug  or my own uncle ,to whom my family was ready to sell me off."

"And I thought, I would just end up being a tailor like my dad, forced to oversee his shop and job for the rest of my life" he said.

I  smiled. I know that they were here despite getting less marks than others in the entrance exams . I thought to myself that if women and minorities gets all the privileges , what about those who deserve it because of their talent and hard work. I felt it was unfair, though I couldn't comment then.

The night went pretty fun and also surprisingly productive. We made a promise that time that we will meet the same way before every exam and hangout.

But, we grew apart as time flew and suddenly we were in graduation. Both of them had got a good CGPA and was placed in a good company with a decent package. They were really happy for their situations, but I could sense their lack of vision and ability to dream. I had got an offer from a company for a slightly lesser package, but I wanted to do PG in a global university so that my portfolio can be better, when I step into my career. Once again, I didn't say anything.

We exchanged numbers, clicked photos for our Instagram updates,  faked tears and this time made a stern promise that we will meet at the same place after three years.

I finished my PG in the states, got a job in a MNC, got a handsome package ,settled down with a beautiful bride of culture and a flair of style.  I went onsite to the states occasionally, now looking at a chance to settle there completely and toured down to Europe during holidays. In short, my life cannot be more prettier.

One fine day, the whats app group of our college batch rose from the dust and suddenly within minutes, the reunion meet was fixed. I pretended to be busy and tried to avoid the day, but internally I was excited.  I wanted to see how others were doing. No, No, to be honest, I wanted to compare myself with others and have a smirk upon the fact that ,I'm doing better.

The day arrived and I met a lot of people there, exchanging pleasantries and cherishing some old and funny (supposed to be) memories with my batch mates.  A lot of them congratulated for my growth  and awed at my status. I tried to act humble, but my inner conscious was feeding off the praise.

A little later, my eyes were searching secretly the whole hall for those two, but they were nowhere to be seen. " Huh, they chickened out, probably out of embarrassment " I thought. I tried to act high and uncaring, but my curiosity won at last. I asked one of my batch mate who were close with both of them.

What followed was a little shock , that I would always try to forget in my life.

He was doing well in a company, until one day out of the blue, he was laid off without reason. The company stated economic recession, but others who are undeserved than him were not. He understood it was discriminatory in  nature and tried to let out in social media. His posts became viral and a certain group of "Internet thugs" cyber bullied him, asking him to go to Pakistan ,where he belongs. He was falsely branded with so many titles . Unable to cope, He had cut ties with the digital world and is supposedly back to his village, doing his ancestral work.

She was also doing well, until marriage happened. Despite her earnings and work, she was still married to her uncle due to family pressure and had to leave the job.  He was a conservative family Indian man with drinking habits and abusive nature. She couldn't come to the reunion, even if she wanted to.

For a moment there, I  felt a sharp pain of guilt stinging my heart . I felt sorry for them, I thought something was wrong with this society and I wanted to call them and extend my feelings and support.

But, like every INDIAN , UPPER MIDDLE CLASS ( as we would like to call ourselves) PRIVILEGED MAN, I pacified myself with :

" What can I, as a single person can do and change?"
"Tch, Tch, I sympathize with them, after all its their fate"
" God help them"
............
"Oh, I completely forgot, I should go and give a missed call to a certain number, I am going to be a NRI after all, soon"
..
 and drove back home to my beautiful wife and a session of hot tub romance.

P.s: I tried to write how it would be in the eyes of a privileged person( which most of us are, in some or the other way). The piece don't relate to any particular person or incident. The plot might be fictitious, but the entire story isn't.

P.P.S: Do the least, support the unprivileged's cause , don't always hold on to your privileges. Don't let your humanity go away, its the only true and pure thing left.

P.P.P.S: The entire title is in the bold font.